TREASURE IT!
I encountered the love of Jesus when I was 10. I knew that He will never stop loving me - even when, in my 20s, I drifted away.
I encountered the love of Jesus when I was 10. I knew that He will never stop loving me - even when, in my 20s, I drifted away.
I graduated college NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) but when I started dating, my heart slowly spun on a downward spiral.
I got addicted to the highs of sexual trysts. Instead of nurturing friendships and family relationships, I unwittingly built a wall. Before I knew it, almost a decade has passed. My childhood ideals have been replaced by guilt, shame, cynicism and inner angst.
The pain of uncommitted love brought me to a place where I desperately sought the love of God for real. I took a U-turn to Jesus in my 30s.
I got addicted to the highs of sexual trysts. Instead of nurturing friendships and family relationships, I unwittingly built a wall. Before I knew it, almost a decade has passed. My childhood ideals have been replaced by guilt, shame, cynicism and inner angst.
The pain of uncommitted love brought me to a place where I desperately sought the love of God for real. I took a U-turn to Jesus in my 30s.
Fast forward to today. I am in my mid-40s, walking thru life 'broke but happy'.
Broke in the sense that I have none of the material, tangible treasures that my batchmates or even people half my age already have.
Broke in the sense that I am not woke, but fully awake.
10 years of marriage hasn't tamed the shrew in me just yet. Everyday I'm still learning how not to sin when I am angry, how to exercise "godliness with contentment" and to discipline myself for the purpose of godliness.
Over the last 44 months, I've changed my son's diapers for an average of 2,640 times. I've been experiparenting (experiment-parenting) almost every single day.
My son's life and my marriage, of course, are not projects nor experiments. They are treasures entrusted to me.
When I feel overwhelmed by doubts and lies about my identity as God's child, my Heavenly Father consoles me as I pray. His timely responses to "Please help me," recharges me.
When I feel tired, angry or afraid, God's Spirit helps me remember His Word and ushers me to His presence. He embraces me thru a kind word or a hearty meal by my husband. Or foodpanda.
Without a shadow of doubt I say, God - and His love - is real.
God's love has chipped away the guilt, shame, cynicism and inner angst which my poor choices in the past has caused.
Daily, God's love fills me with a certain kind of peace and security in who I am: a daughter perfectly flawed, eternally loved and infinitely forgiven.
God makes His pure love manifested whenever I hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet, tapdancing to nursery rhymes. Or those little fingers tapping on my shoulders whenever my son hugs me.
